I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
