About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
