It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
What drink are we having for lunch?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
