is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just googled if crying burns calories
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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