Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize