I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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