I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
