At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
