Can Purell be used as lube?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
