She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
