thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
