ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize