I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
