are you so shy because you have an std?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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