Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Randomize
