I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize