On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
