Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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