I saw his package. It spoke to me.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Randomize
