I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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