Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize