batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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