maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think I am morally bankrupt
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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