New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
