I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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