My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
