You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
