Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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