Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
