I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
