so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
