yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I wish life had little blips of pornography
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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