What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
