threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
