She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize