you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
