I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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