kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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