apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
