Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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