i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize