Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
