Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
sex in a hospital.. check
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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