if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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