would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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