What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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