Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it penis luge time yet?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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