I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
