Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
