is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I came so hard my ears popped.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
