you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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