Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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