I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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