Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
