I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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