There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
