the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize