But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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