did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
