do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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