If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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