this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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