Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
