Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
