I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
