I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
