It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
