I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
