yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
