so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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